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Future Darwin Award Winners - Nothing Serious Podcast 40

Submissions 0

This week it appears that the internet is full of potential Darwin Award winners as we hear about the burglar who broke into the house of a competitive axe-thrower, and the man who jumped out of a moving car to avoid an argument with his girlfriend. We also here about the genius who turned up at court with his meth pipe, and the Texas folks who booed and walked out of presentation by Bill Nye “The Science Guy” because he said that the moon was a reflector and didn’t emit light. Controversy erupts when we discuss the two English women that won first prize at a fancy dress competition for dressing up as the Twin Towers, complete with explosions.

Finally, and perhaps epically, our “Bad Joke Of The Week” caller returns, but this time he puts on a different sort of performance for us!

Links to all stories mentioned in this episode of can be found on the Nothing Serious Podcast site.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:06 — 25.3MB)

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Californian To Texan Translation Guide

Paul O'Flaherty 0

State Rep. Donna Lichtenegger, a Missouri Legislator, has posted a translation guide that characterizes same-sex marriage as “legalized perversion” and a “multicultural community” as a “high-crime area” on her Facebook profile, sharing it with at least two other lawmakers - Rep. Charlie Davis (R-Webb City) and House Majority Leader Tim Jones (R-Eureka).

Fired Up Missouri reports that she also posted it on the page of Rep. Anne Zerr (R-St. Charles).

It’s nice to see such responsible political leadership!

The 31 “translations” on the list are:

California to Texas

  • Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
  • Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
  • Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
  • Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
  • Assault and Battery - Attitude Adjustment
  • Heavily Armed - Well Protected
  • Narrow-Minded - Righteous
  • Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
  • Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation Plot
  • Illegal Hazardous Explosives - Fireworks for Stump Removal
  • Nonviable Tissue Mass - Unborn Baby
  • Equal Access to Opportunity - Socialism
  • Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
  • Fairness or Social Progress - Marxism
  • Upper Class or “The Rich” - Self-Employed
  • Progressive, Change - Big Government Scheme
  • Homeless or Disadvantaged - Bums or Welfare Leeches
  • Sniper Rifle - Scoped Deer Rifle
  • Investment For The Future - Higher Taxes
  • Heathcare Reform - Socialized Medicine
  • Truants - Homeschoolers
  • Victim or Oppressed - Criminal or Lazy Do-For-Nothing
  • High Capacity Magazine - Standard Capacity Magazine
  • Religious Zealot - Church-Going
  • Reintroduced Wolves - Sheep and Deer Killers
  • Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
  • Exploiters or “The Rich” - Employed or Land Owner
  • The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
  • Assault Weapon Fiscal Stimulus - Semi-Auto (Grandpas’s M1 Carbine)
  • Same Sex Marriage - Legalized Perversion
  • Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting - Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

It Burns

Submissions 0

Texas burns and we have no idea who started it ;)

Texas Pride

Submissions 0

A Texan gets “deeply offended by the photo of two men dancing in New York’s gay-pride parade”, but it’s not what you might think!


Emo Dinosaurs

Selina 0

Only hardcore emos dig a hole to die in.


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